One of the most important lessons in sales is to learn to be light. A lot of sales people will talk about having thick skin and while this is similar it is not the same as being light. When you are light you will take the negative energy that clients, teammates or superiors place on you and you will shine back at them to brighten their day a little bit. Even if the experience didn’t go as well as you had hoped you can still leave knowing you made that person’s experience better than it might have been with someone else. I always want my reaction to be one that would shine on a day that might have been especially hard on the person I am working with.
When I started in sales everyone told me I would need to have thick skin and if I didn’t already have it I would develop it, and with it possibly a jaded outlook. One of the first experiences I had that hurt me was in my second month. Almost every client I worked with up to this point that told me they would buy from me did, even if I let them leave to think about it. This surprised most of my managers and they joked about me having some secret be back dust in my pocket that I would sprinkle on clients. The managers who always pushed for the deal today began to trust my clients when they said they would return. I believed clients and I felt I was working with integrity that would deserve same in return. That is until a kind grey haired lady with a youthful sparkle in her eyes came in during my second month. This client was a ball of energy and enthused about a new model we had, she told me she wanted to test drive the vehicle so I took her out and told her everything I could about the vehicle in our short time together. I did not ask that day if she wanted to buy the vehicle but I asked if she thought it was the right car for her and she said, “yes I think so.”
“Great!” I said, “you can go home and think about it and let me know any more questions that come up and when you’re ready we can move forward.” I introduced her to a manger and after a brief chat she left with a smile proclaiming she would be in touch. This lady seemed to me as family oriented, friendly, trustworthy and kind a person as they could come and so when she came back for a second test drive on a busy evening for another couple hours to go over all the technology and details of the different models I was happy to oblige her and explain all the features which needed ample time to explain. After the experience we went inside and I asked if I could present her prices she said yes and we went over pricing options. Again she asked me if she could go home and think about it and I said, “sure, is there any reason you aren’t making the decision today?” She replied she just wanted to go over the pricing and get things in line financially to purchase it, she would let me know as soon as possible. Great! I turned her over to a manager who met her for the second time and released her on the promise she would be back. I waited a busy week to follow up, probably longer than I should have and when I finally got a hold of her she proudly announced she bought a vehicle from an old friend who had instructed her to go to the local dealer to learn the vehicle and once decided on a model to buy from him.
I was crushed. I told her on the phone I felt that was unfair and that she shouldn’t have told me she would get in touch with us if she didn’t really plan to and that she led me along. I almost wanted to hang up after that, instead I quieted myself, I was met for the first time with a long silence over the phone. I held my breath and held back feelings of being hurt with this lady whom I spent over three hours with and of course, found things I liked about her. I had already mentally concluded she had bought a car and chosen me as her salesperson. When she left that second day the manager that let her walk even said out loud to me, “she will be back to buy a car she just needs to get a couple things ready”, and he was a seasoned closer. Well it turns out he and I were both right only this client had decided she already had an allegiance and it was not to us. After a silence that felt like minutes she said I had done a great job, that it wasn’t personal and she appreciated my time before quietly hanging up, but I could hear in her voice I hurt her through my bluntness.
It was then that I realized all of this needs to be taken lightly, or thick skin will develop. While thick skin is considered an edge, it is not ideal. Thick skin means you don’t feel as much, it means your body has learned to become guarded automatically. Yes I was hurt, but I hurt my client too, and honestly if I could go back knowing what I know now I would have immediately congratulated her when she told me she bought her vehicle and asked her if I played a helpful part in her decision reassuring her she could reach back out to me for anything in the future. By saying something when I was emotionally hurt thinking it might hurt my client, as subtle as it was, I cut that tie forever and likely soured her entire experience of buying a new car which should have been a joyous moment. I hope her skin isn’t thicker because of my callous treatment of her buying experience.
In business nothing is personal and this must be remembered so that when you need to consult your clients they can see you are not jaded from the past or angry over a previously lost deal. Every deal is a fresh start and with every client is hope that this might be your best deal or your new favorite client. Be light, know that the law of averages will work out in the end if you are putting forth a good effort. Pursue the deals, chase them and engage your clients so they feel they have your full attention but when the time has come and the game is over just remember it will always go back into the box and a new game will begin. You have to be ready for every new game with the same excitement you brought to the last. Be light in winning and losing. My best days in sales have been some of my worst days for actually selling, they are the days that I walk in and I do my best, I ask the client as many ways as possible why the sale isn’t happening and I am met with the 10% that just say no. I tell them how thankful I am for their business and the opportunity to work for them and I ask them about their personal lives and get them excited about their big moment, which is easy to forget because I do it every day. I wear a smile when it is hard because I know that they deserve this moment of enjoyment and when I go home I feel good about myself. And when I call the client to follow up I am often met with that same energy I let them leave with, a lightheartedness that invites you back.
Just the other day I had a client say no to everything I could offer told me it was their intro vehicle for the brand and in the future they would reconsider these things based on the experience. I had them on the verge of a decision and if I pushed a little more they might have left with a product they had not intended to have and honestly that could have been fine, instead I backed off and let them leave feeling good about their decision, I had played a good game but pushing would have left the experience soured. I had the opportunity, I saw it and I chose the wrong approach. I saw the review the next day and it was glowing about not just me but everyone at the dealership. I called them a couple days later to follow up and I was met with excessive thank you’s for small things, things I don’t think twice about and real joy about owning a new car she had always wanted. That, sometimes, is worth more on a day when it feels like nothing else is going accordingly, and with averages on your side what you missed at one opportunity can be gained at another. One day I will maximize that same interaction so those on the verge will say yes and only thank me, but until then I’ll make sure everyone I interact with remembers everything about their experience at my dealership fondly.
A client who flew planes for UPS commercially told me that when you learn to fly there are two bowls you have, one is full of marbles marked luck and every time you fly and land safely you take one marble form the bowl marked luck and move it to the bowl marked experience and every pilot has to know how many marbles they may have left in them and stop before the last marble in the luck jar runs out because experience trumps everything except for that little bit of luck every pilot may need. For us in sales, that jar of experience can fill up forever and that jar of luck, well after enough experience, we will welcome it but it won’t endanger our lives, so we are pretty fortunate for that. Our careers are not so serious that we can’t make light of every situation.
-FACS
From A Salesman 