I’m Just Looking

Have you ever been to a bar where everyone in the room immediately thought you wanted to take their clothes off? That’s car sales. Thank heavens for life insurance salespeople, lawyers and politicians or we’d be driven out of society with pitchforks by now. Hardly ever do you hear love and car salesman in the same sentence, unless someone is married to one… and even then. Granted, a lot has changed for car sales over the years, prices are more transparent than ever and websites like Kelly Blue Book have largely taken away the guesswork of car pricing. Sure there are some wide gaps (okay we’ll say chasms) in reputability between many new and used car lots but that’s not to say there isn’t a similar distinction to be made in every industry in which the focus is gross total profit.

America is one giant industry focused on gross total profit, and we treat most countries the same way, just ask any number of presidents including our current “Business man” President Trump. What’s our Nations Gross Domestic Product or GDP!? That is the burning question at year end for investors, it determines whether Sally will be able to afford college next year or Jimmy can get that new peg leg he’s been needing since Christmas. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, Jimmy and Sally are probably fine if their parents are well off enough to invest as long as they haven’t stumbled upon the next Bernie Madoff or Kenneth Lay. Many of you may be groaning right now and feeling defensive if you are comfortably well off, let me assure you that is normal, many studies have shown significant impact on our altruistic and empathetic capacities once monies involved. What a fitting word to describe how most of us feel after profiteering greatly off other poor saps who are none the wiser, gross. You may be wondering now, Mr. salesman with your current view of monies how is it you landed in car sales? Isn’t that, hypocritical, backwards? Don’t worry, I’m just getting started.

Car sales for me is a chance to meet people in a boxing ring with their dukes up and possibly even some of that chemical rubbing oil on their gloves that makes your eyes burn (just in case) and then convince them it’s a hugging contest. I figure if I am capable of helping people when they are most defensive, feeling vulnerable, cornered into making a decision, ready to pounce on me at any moment for any reason and end up with them leaving liking me, well then damit, I done good! In today’s day and age any price is too high, everyone wants Walmart pricing on Gucci products, whether that’s Gucci or not. My challenge is to find out what someone would like to own and do my best to help them buy it at a price they are comfortable with while making a friend in the process. I do not guarantee the lowest prices, although I am the best at getting them, because if everyone paid $20 dollars for a Gucci purse would we still treat it like a Gucci purse? Perception is everything. Let me clarify, I’m one of those drop in the bucket guys, every chance I get I’ll put a drop in and once it’s full I’ll start running and accidentally drop the bucket on the way to the sea.

There is nothing comparable to making a friend out of an immediate enemy, the bond feels stronger because of it. Still it seems car salesmen and car buyers must be locked in an endless Tom and Jerry or Wiley Coyote and Road Runner debacle which we all know rarely ends well. I entertain myself by daydreaming about salespeople chasing customers on our lot with great rows of cars in between them, many customers only narrowly escaping their clutches when a salesperson hits a suddenly opened door like a frying pan. All too often when a customer is finally approached by a salesperson, a match made in heaven, car buyer and car seller finally united, the buyer swiftly interjects upon meeting, “I’m just looking.” Really, because I thought you lost your cane and might have needed some assistance navigating these perilous grounds, do you know where you currently are? In sales they teach you how to overcome obstacles. These are common phrases the “buyer” might use as ninja smoke for their getaway leaving you feeling like Batman just roundhouse kicked the shit outta you before jumping off a skyscraper into the night. More about obstacles later. For now just know that every good salesperson must know how to respond with a swift and often canned rebuttal. And thus, Tom and Jerry.

It might help to add that as a child watching cartoons I always knew the Roadrunner and Wiley truly loved each other, same for Tom and Jerry, or else why would they choose to spend all that time focused on each other? You see reader, for me there is no greater victory in life than having someone else appreciate you, success is nice and all, though I think we must truly appreciate ourselves before we can ever understand that. There is no Tom without Jerry, no car salesman without car shopper, no bathroom without a janitor, and no fame without followers. Everyone has a reason to appreciate themselves, even if your occupation seems to be hopelessly kicking dirt next to the totem pole. If we’re given a stone to throw there is no point in wasting all our energy trying to throw it perfectly to hit a target, heck I’d throw it over my shoulder just to get rid of it. I came into car sales because I wanted a new direction, it’s not my intended final destination, it’s a stones throw into a constantly developing ripple. I’m still learning how to skip stones.

Next time you have to buy a car, or anything with a middleman, remember we have it backwards, it’s not salesman or saleswoman, (sales person if I were PC) it’s a person, who just happened to end up in sales. When I was on the road in the middle of the night, hundreds of miles from where I started asking all that darkness above me what the hell I should do with my life, I did not anticipate this. And I couldn’t be any happier with my decision.

All the best wishes,

– FACS